tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47705691247102106212024-02-20T05:53:23.303-08:00j o i e b u t t e rvanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-14389804942290801252015-08-25T14:23:00.001-07:002015-08-25T14:23:37.684-07:00moving my blog<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_19sMcnflrpXaa0w0al6dXdaZDMNRXlp35DSOi1v7wA3OnVM6psrnAB0lDRYRkzamq_NA159xSxfjtOWsai9TAATjzjf4we6gvlAHVcdbtVJsMr2T0lFDsxmTqnysLYjtWIPhe9KPy0w/s1600/summer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_19sMcnflrpXaa0w0al6dXdaZDMNRXlp35DSOi1v7wA3OnVM6psrnAB0lDRYRkzamq_NA159xSxfjtOWsai9TAATjzjf4we6gvlAHVcdbtVJsMr2T0lFDsxmTqnysLYjtWIPhe9KPy0w/s320/summer.jpg" width="650" /></a>
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i can't believe summer is ending. it's been a crazy one but good, too. </div>
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i'm moving my blog to wordpress! </div>
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you can find me at <a href="http://www.joiebutter.com/">joiebutter.com</a> </div>
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<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4632889/?claim=jqsq5ejdkrc">you can also follow my blog with bloglovin'.</a></div>
vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-88667011745539908762015-08-01T06:30:00.000-07:002015-08-01T06:30:00.767-07:00run away with me: beatrix potter's hill top cottage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrQNTRJsH3ljKMO7GgCBq9NyYc2S-HlHOXjhVIkv6Idqo74zVQYYmMR9Q4Mpf1m4fF2d3luRUG01FyORHaSTPbVPGLd-gY65AsBxHSuYIaqC8lc8qdSGyE2v_NPMpTJXMvfJdMOzuWeUE/s1600/HillTop+photos.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrQNTRJsH3ljKMO7GgCBq9NyYc2S-HlHOXjhVIkv6Idqo74zVQYYmMR9Q4Mpf1m4fF2d3luRUG01FyORHaSTPbVPGLd-gY65AsBxHSuYIaqC8lc8qdSGyE2v_NPMpTJXMvfJdMOzuWeUE/s650/HillTop+photos.png" /></a></div>
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beatrix potter fell in love with the lake district and in 1905 bought hill top, a 17th-century farmhouse. everything from the cottage itself to the garden, which is described as a "haphazard mix of flowers, herbs, fruit and vegetables" sounds completely charming.<br />
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i've only been to the lake district once the first time i was in england but my silly 18 year old self was too cool for things like cottages... or maybe we just ran out of time. i don't really remember but i would love to visit it the next time i'm in the great britain.<br />
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you can read more about hill top at <a href="http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/hill-top/" target="_blank">the national trust</a>.<br />
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images: <a href="http://www.levensgarden.com/2009_07_01_archive.html">levens garden</a>, <a href="http://www.ntprints.com/image/353042/the-garden-at-hill-top-cumbria-the-home-of-beatrix-potter">village england</a>, <a href="http://makedoandpush.co.uk/2014/05/hill-top-farm-beatrix-potters-abode.html/">make, do and push</a>vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-39167431140074872172015-07-21T17:31:00.000-07:002015-07-21T17:35:05.187-07:00maybe the best deal i've ever found<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZuJ6NpUMcnwiPC5sYDL1zBPf9tpa7W3O69d3FLkVvcNVazxpOfwTTpgJO1g6qnEi2PHMqNH0Yoi6zeQA0qGYo-aceKBGVwo72gYHd4xVEslWy_ivpoyULTafUmHTPgqp9AzGEh61dr5A0/s1600/thomas_preyer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZuJ6NpUMcnwiPC5sYDL1zBPf9tpa7W3O69d3FLkVvcNVazxpOfwTTpgJO1g6qnEi2PHMqNH0Yoi6zeQA0qGYo-aceKBGVwo72gYHd4xVEslWy_ivpoyULTafUmHTPgqp9AzGEh61dr5A0/s650/thomas_preyer.jpg" /></a></div>
i'm super excited to post this even thought i <i>just said</i> <a href="http://joiebutter.blogspot.com/2015/07/moving.html" target="_blank">how much i hate packing and moving</a> i have been itching to get on a plane and go somewhere.<br />
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i just love <a href="http://www.frolic-blog.com/" target="_blank">chelsea's blog</a> and especially her <a href="http://www.frolic-blog.com/2015/06/introducing-instagram-travel-guides/" target="_blank">travel posts</a>. but <a href="http://www.frolic-blog.com/2015/06/how-to-find-cheap-airfare-to-europe-12-top-tips/" target="_blank">this post</a> (and a crummy morning at work) got me looking to see if i could find any great deals overseas. i have some friends in england, france, holland, prague and germany and since i didn't have any set dates i needed to stick to i just looked and looked and <i>looked</i> using various sites and airlines and dates and i found an <b style="font-style: italic;">amazing deal</b>.<br />
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i could fly from los angeles to norway in november for $344. round trip. after taxes. non stop! i can barely fly from salt lake city to santa barbara for that much. anyway then from norway i can take norwegian, or easy jet or bmi to connect within europe. i'm super excited!<br />
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i should say that that wonderfully inexpensive ticket doesn't include any checked bags or meals, <i>but still</i>. i'm a pro at packing snacks and have a very large purse so i should be all set.<br />
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you should definitely check out all of <a href="http://www.frolic-blog.com/2015/06/how-to-find-cheap-airfare-to-europe-12-top-tips/" target="_blank">chelsea's tips</a> for finding good deals on airfare.
do you have any tips for finding great deals on flights? where are you dying to go?
photos: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/55867728@N08/14199588106">thomas preyer</a>vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-51543505493747844802015-07-19T22:26:00.000-07:002015-07-19T22:26:29.871-07:00moving<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidJAdzB11DkWy0paEGHPS9ISPiS8ucSY6alGkwmOhjKKMo8PYK90GbivBrYizovFoc2-GXl0dMbS2dLcNQ1k_5ef2PyJvXQOIO1C1YMBbCckwNkDs1qEpfz3FlAIebW-K_UoUluduyGXw0/s1600/sex+and+the+city+packing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidJAdzB11DkWy0paEGHPS9ISPiS8ucSY6alGkwmOhjKKMo8PYK90GbivBrYizovFoc2-GXl0dMbS2dLcNQ1k_5ef2PyJvXQOIO1C1YMBbCckwNkDs1qEpfz3FlAIebW-K_UoUluduyGXw0/s650/sex+and+the+city+packing.jpg" /></a></div>
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so i just recently moved to la. and by recently i mean i got here last night.
i hope i like it here because i never want to move again.<br />
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i've moved quite a bit in my life, both around the country and overseas, but i've always been able to stuff everything into a couple suitcases or into my car. i'm not sure how i accumulate so much stuff over the last 3 years that i've been in utah but there was barely room for harlow in the car on the drive out here.<br />
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last night, sleeping on the floor of my almost empty little house, i thought of some tips that will hopefully make moving a lot less painful for you.<br />
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1. start early. like the day you decide to move. packing and sorting and cleaning will take longer than you think.<br />
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2. ask for help. you might think, "well, i'm just one person living in a tiny house with a tiny dog and i don't have that much stuff." you have more than you think you do. you will need help or at the very least someone to keep you motivated.<br />
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3. accept offers for help. when people offer to help you move or clean LET THEM. see above.<br />
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4. stick to your plan. i flipped flopped from driving a uhaul, to renting a pod, to making multiple trips in my car (it's a 10 hr drive one way. this was a stupid plan. also this was the option i chose.) but however you decide to move your stuff determines how you'll need to pack so pick one and go with it.<br />
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5. bags over boxes. when trying to squish everything into one smallish car, trash bags are the way to go for soft things like bedding and clothing. sure, you won't feel super fancy when you're dragging garbage bags of your stuff into your new place but you'll definitely be able to fit more into tight spots.
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6. be crazy organized. i think this is more important based on how much you're moving so make lists, label boxes, pack in some sort of logical order (whatever works for you.) there was a point last week (around 2 am) when i was tired, frazzled and had lost my sharpie and just started piling things in boxes. whatever fit went it. half of my boxes went into storage and i'm pretty sure thats where all of my socks are.<br />
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7. don't get a storage unit. (unless you really, really need to) for me it was just to delay making decisions. and now i have a storage unit in another state that i will have to deal with at some point.<br />
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8. show your appreciation. say thank you! to everyone - the people that helped you move, clean, babysat your dog (or kids), let you crash at their place while you were bedless, loaded your car, brought you snacks for the drive... it all deserves a big, fat thank you.<br />
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basically i am the worst at moving but maybe you can learn from my mistakes?? do you have any moving tips? horror stories?vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-85532827181371388922015-04-19T21:10:00.000-07:002015-04-19T21:11:14.436-07:00harlow honey child<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkZAie8BYfLH_Cf9Dvk0T4r5Uy4iwRk8uduw1MWqPPObbVPjHBVcGooBEZTu5_UhhHwZSKvfnlyGnG45o6hW3rOlJygTjYumKzz7O5Tem4WWgm-_2B2BxQ-8KFCwQZHAF6DG5r8WYH9Uvw/s1600/harlowcollage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkZAie8BYfLH_Cf9Dvk0T4r5Uy4iwRk8uduw1MWqPPObbVPjHBVcGooBEZTu5_UhhHwZSKvfnlyGnG45o6hW3rOlJygTjYumKzz7O5Tem4WWgm-_2B2BxQ-8KFCwQZHAF6DG5r8WYH9Uvw/s1600/harlowcollage.jpg" height="600" width="600" /></a></div>
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it will come as a surprise to absolutely none of you that i just love my little harlow dog. harlow's mom passed away a few months ago and she's only a few years older than harlow and it totally freaked me out. anyway harlow is happy and healthy and i plan to keep her that way. today she's been particularly sweet.<br />
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maybe i'm biased but i think she has the sweetest/funniest personality. here's why:</div>
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she won't sit on a cold hard, floor. if we're in the kitchen and i tell her to sit she does this funny little wiggle and backs up but she just can't bring herself to put her little bum on the old floor. </div>
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she can't jump on my bed with something in her mouth. is this normal? i don't know but it's hilarious to me.</div>
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when she needs to go outside she goes and stands by the door and then sticks her head around the bookcase and stares at me and waits for me to notice/read her mind. </div>
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she almost never ever barks and i love her for it.</div>
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before she sleeps she always fluffs her sleeping spot (whether it's her bed, the floor, the couch) by pawing at it like crazy then flopping around on her back before settling down. </div>
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she can hear a string cheese being opened from about a mile away. </div>
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and lastly the other day i was sitting on my couch reading and she walked up, bit the end of my sock, pulled it off then proceeded to roll around with it. </div>
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i love my little weirdo!</div>
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what are some funny things that your pet does?</div>
vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-20760033983271828562015-03-31T07:37:00.001-07:002015-03-31T07:37:22.193-07:00trash is for tossers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMSAZ0w2Dn0xZK2pidBTURoMuvIBzVuQcpKDwWD1R4gHNbzp5fsdxQO9N_nh2Sed0tFLu5TTa6f_US2rLnm_vMOo-RA22ZiQTz3AJHv0WmlYpxVSMFvIPVhJzBcSVLibvxRRvw78U8c5nw/s700/tiftt.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMSAZ0w2Dn0xZK2pidBTURoMuvIBzVuQcpKDwWD1R4gHNbzp5fsdxQO9N_nh2Sed0tFLu5TTa6f_US2rLnm_vMOo-RA22ZiQTz3AJHv0WmlYpxVSMFvIPVhJzBcSVLibvxRRvw78U8c5nw/s700/tiftt.JPG" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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i very recently came across a blog called <a href="http://www.trashisfortossers.com/">trash is for tossers</a>. i loved it so much i read her whole blog. in one day. the whole thing.<br />
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when i moved to salt lake at the end of 2012 my new year's/new house's resolution was to stop buying paper napkins and paper towels. i did buy these <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/63273911/13-bird-e-towels-eco-friendly-paper?ref=shop_home_feat_2">paper towel alternatives</a> and loved them. i didn't think twice about buying paper products. for 2015 my plan was to stop buying disposable plastic - specifically ziploc baggies. i have some plastic containers that i can wash and reuse and eventually replace with something like these <a href="http://www.lifewithoutplastic.com/store/round-stainless-steel-airtight-take-out-container-with-removable-dividers.html">stainless steel lunch containers</a>. researching more sustainable ways of living was how i came across <a href="http://www.trashisfortossers.com/">trash is for tossers</a>.<br />
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i read about lauren before i read her blog. i had sort of heard of the zero waste movement but not really. i'll be honest my first thought when i heard "zero waste" was of an episode of extreme cheapskates i'd seen. i mean i had no idea what her blog was going to be - did she make her own reusable toilet paper and find salvageable food in dumpsters and share bathwater? i was a little nervous.<br />
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but as i started reading she just seemed like a fun, personable girl who is conscious of the way her lifestyle impacts our world and is trying to live what she believes. she buys groceries in bulk or at farmers markets with her own reusable jars and sacks, she recycles and composts, she plans ahead, she shops second hand and says "no thank you" to things she doesn't need. she uses toilet paper.<br />
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i think what i admire most about her lifestyle is the thoughtfulness that it creates. i've been thinking a lot lately about how we live in such a disposable world (and i'm just as guilty as the next person.) when you can buy a pair of jeans at old navy or wherever for under $20 it's easy to throw them out if they get a rip or a stain. i've been going through my closets as i'm getting ready to move (and still attempting a capsule wardrobe) and surprising how much i have. do i need 6 pair of the same jeans? or 5 of the same white tank top? no i don't.<br />
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anyway back to trash is for tossers. i've read other zero waste blogs that tell you how to redo your whole house and what you need to buy and not-so-subtle links to their own book but lauren's blog (i say "lauren" like we're friends but i secretly think we would be... haha.) is so genuine and relatable. she's open and honest and admits it wasn't an overnight process to change her way of life.<br />
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if you follow me on <a href="http://instagram.com/joiebutter">instagram</a> you'll know i recently attempted my own zero waste shopping trip and i'm happy to say i was successful. i took some cloth bags for bulk granola, french bread, and veggies and some glass jars for bulk olives and quinoa. when i got to the store (whole foods) they weighed my empty containers and i wrote on the bottom of them with a sharpie so i didn't pay for the weight of the jars. it took a little planning but it was kind of fun. plus there's no impulse buying when you are limiting yourself to buying bulk. there was no bulk chocolate and no bulk coke zero (ugh). so maybe this will be a good thing for my own health as well as the environment.<br />
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oh the other thing i loved about her lifestyle was that she <a href="http://www.trashisfortossers.com/">lets her fridge go bare</a>. i always hate cleaning out my fridge and seeing all the unused, spoiled food i toss out. since i bought very few perishable items i'm going to see if i can actually use everything up before i go shopping again. i'll let you know if i'm successful.<br />
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i don't know if i'll be able to do this all the time but i think i'd like to try. i mean, it's worth trying right? and i'm not going to go through my house and toss all plastic items and replace them with metal and glass - that's hardly environmentally friendly but i can see myself making some changes.<br />
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one funny story from my shopping trip: i was checking out with all my jars and cloth bags and the guy was pretty cool about it even though it took a little extra time and so i was telling him about trash is for tossers and how amazing lauren is and i said "she hasn't produced any waste in two years!" there was major awkward silence and he gave me a very strange look and said something like "what? is that healthy?" or something like that and then i was confused and after some more awkwardness i realized i think he thought i was saying she hadn't pooped in two years... what? ugh. no. major awkward. sorry, lauren.<br />
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<br />vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-74986786690163100302015-03-10T20:43:00.000-07:002015-03-10T20:43:00.583-07:00it's okay!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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i feel like a lot of what i see on facebook and twitter is pretty awful lately. maybe i'm being super sensitive but the final straw was the man being shamed for dancing. it was too much.<br />
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so here are some wonderful things that have happened:<br />
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dave grohl <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/04/foo-fighters-blind-fan-drumstick-video_n_6802310.html">stopped the show to fulfill a fan's request</a>. <br />
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i recently read that actor steve buscemi <a href="http://www.snopes.com/rumors/buscemi.asp">rejoined his old engine company to help search for survivors after 9/11</a>.<br />
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maroon 5<a href="http://themighty.com/2015/03/the-sweet-reason-adam-levine-and-maroon-5-got-down-on-the-floor-with-this-boy/"> lies down on the ground </a>to help a 10 year old boy with downs syndrome.<br />
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an <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/health/this-entire-neighborhood-secretly-learned-sign-113251223242.html">entire town secretly learned sign language</a> to surprise a deaf neighbor (and yes this was for a samsung campaign but the effort and result were beautiful.)<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIzYZB6P5-M">this little piglet</a>.<br />
<br />
this exhibit <a href="http://time.com/3708399/blind-art-mona-lisa/">allows blind people to touch the mona lisa</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVywPAjtppg">a panda that needs a hug</a> before he will get down from his tree.<br />
<br />
and lastly, <a href="http://www.myfoxla.com/story/28341610/internet-bullied-dancing-man-gets-la-dance-party-support-from-pharrell-moby">dancing man is being flown to la</a> to dance his heart out.<br />
<br />
thank you internet.<br />
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<br />vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-55429410146941453132015-01-27T20:47:00.003-08:002015-01-27T20:47:39.569-08:00loving lately<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4fve-zHOUayexWQM_GQgl47bXvY4pNFSq-xNp-tMbJYaGSwOBBlirz4jvAn9ET4bQBp1xrAmscpPxI_330ho0JkRnBRWxIBS59e3f4zAmlOU-ylJk6-qWvszunvj8JMtyA2mATxTIlhU/s1600/thegreatdivorce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4fve-zHOUayexWQM_GQgl47bXvY4pNFSq-xNp-tMbJYaGSwOBBlirz4jvAn9ET4bQBp1xrAmscpPxI_330ho0JkRnBRWxIBS59e3f4zAmlOU-ylJk6-qWvszunvj8JMtyA2mATxTIlhU/s1600/thegreatdivorce.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br />
i'm in the process of looking for a job and i the house i am renting is being sold. ugh. i don't necessarily want to leave utah but i'm not set on staying either. california has been calling my name and also england. who knows. job first, though.<br />
<br />
anyway here are some things i've been loving lately:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.diptyqueparis.com/gifts/for-the-home/vanille-standard-candle.html">diptique's vanille candle</a>. it's a warm vanilla scent and even when it's not lit i can still smell it faintly.<br />
<br />
my memory foam gel pillow... i don't really know what it's called but it's wonderful.<br />
<br />
making extra spicy vegetarian curry with roasted vegetables.<br />
<br />
youtube makeup tutorials (i had no idea these existed??)<br />
<br />
naps with harlow because sleeeep.<br />
<br />
power watching friends on netflix of course.<br />
<br />
re-reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Great-Divorce-C-Lewis/dp/0060652950">the great divorce</a>... one of my most loved c.s. lewis books.<br />
<br />
what have you been loving lately?<br />
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<br />vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-10753280742855984022014-12-11T18:50:00.000-08:002014-12-11T18:50:06.200-08:00unexpected gratitude<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_dZgpTQed8yULZIQ7f9MlZIvvhGVZ3XBMosMU5uphmuvp-OJXx0SAvOmRKLIierIKRAY9ibgKjnbST08dE0ieS-xCNbU-vAvAMI99mA-PYuUbM8ZtEYAP8xe3Th8_u_5ejUH3Z-slLZSY/s1600/nothecritic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_dZgpTQed8yULZIQ7f9MlZIvvhGVZ3XBMosMU5uphmuvp-OJXx0SAvOmRKLIierIKRAY9ibgKjnbST08dE0ieS-xCNbU-vAvAMI99mA-PYuUbM8ZtEYAP8xe3Th8_u_5ejUH3Z-slLZSY/s560/nothecritic.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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<br />
i'm sitting in my dad's hospital room for the last few days.<br />
<br />
the prognosis is not good. i've been sitting here listening to his labored breathing, machines beeping, nurses bustling around, the woman next door screaming for her damned phone... and just waiting. waiting for him to open his eyes, waiting for another bit of information, waiting for another update. it sucks. he looks small and weak. his hands are swollen and his skin feels cold.<br />
<br />
i know if i let myself think about it too much i'm going to lose it. when i got here this morning i was overwhelmed with emotion but i knew if i let myself cry there'd be no stopping me. i don't know what is going to happen. the waiting and not knowing is hard.<br />
<br />
but i'm choosing hope.<br />
<br />
i am just dealing with each moment and each hour as they come. right now he's alive and i'm grateful for that. i'm grateful for the machines, tubes and medicines that are keeping him here while he fights. i'm grateful for the nurses, doctors, attendants, janitors and everyone here.<br />
<br />
for the last several years i've been the only one in my family who has had any contact with my dad. i won't go into all of that drama but it's hurt me and i know it's hurt him to be shut out by the family he loves. this might sound dumb but it's nice to have all of these doctors and nurses on his side. i'm not alone in my concern for him anymore. there are other people helping him and hoping for the best for him. and i'm so grateful for that.<br />
<br />
that quote always makes me think of my dad and how hard he's worked and how much he's sacrificed for his family. he's not perfect buy he tries and no matter what he's never stopped trying. i love my dad so much. if you are so inclined please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.<br />
<br />
i've also set up this page to help cover the cost of his treatment: http://www.gofund.me/_helpmydad<br />
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<br />
<br />vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-34601178601135402022014-10-02T11:16:00.001-07:002014-10-02T12:46:18.233-07:00little letters<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcPx3sf41xW1UrFVNbJzJzxB0Oh_wjmIUxAKv9iEQKsFNIp-H20P4PonVlfHwt2Z7oeA9pxPMLlO3UE5HDzMzNeaI5UtbDsJsTV9o8fAZqNv-VKnHtcxxb6FYTvFRxBuNXRrV0H5953DQw/s720/josevilla.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcPx3sf41xW1UrFVNbJzJzxB0Oh_wjmIUxAKv9iEQKsFNIp-H20P4PonVlfHwt2Z7oeA9pxPMLlO3UE5HDzMzNeaI5UtbDsJsTV9o8fAZqNv-VKnHtcxxb6FYTvFRxBuNXRrV0H5953DQw/s720/josevilla.jpg" /></a>
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<br />
dear fall,<br />
welcome<br />
<br />
dear <a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/?lang=eng">general conference</a>,<br />
i'm so excited to spend two days with you<br />
<br />
dear pumpkin flavored everything,<br />
i wish i liked you<br />
<br />
dear honeycrisp apples,<br />
i love you<br />
<br />
dear netflix,<br />
thank you for gilmore girls<br />
<br />
dear dr's appointments,<br />
i do not love you<br />
<br />
dear blankets,<br />
you're so cozy and warm and comforting<br />
<br />
dear harlow,<br />
thank you for being my dog<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
image by <a href="http://josevilla.com/">jose villa</a> for <a href="http://enjoycupcakes.com/">enjoy cupcakes</a></div>
vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-86625281419920978212014-09-30T07:00:00.000-07:002014-10-02T12:48:38.345-07:00the roses of chanel no. 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEOKFA3E-nn_Y1NJULwgsTldDtwxeBTWCpkgdK8HZLwQZrM3M39qFyeIWoSC3Oj6X_c354hfiFSS02tATo67TbKYUZqiOoNX7fgmAtgHbr1WzIn3I3QRA-5ZXUPdBaDuzVxjMugvwDIRYj/s720/lonnymag1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEOKFA3E-nn_Y1NJULwgsTldDtwxeBTWCpkgdK8HZLwQZrM3M39qFyeIWoSC3Oj6X_c354hfiFSS02tATo67TbKYUZqiOoNX7fgmAtgHbr1WzIn3I3QRA-5ZXUPdBaDuzVxjMugvwDIRYj/s720/lonnymag1.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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i read this beautiful article in <a href="http://www.lonny.com/magazine">lonny magazine</a> and keep going back to it so i thought i'd share it here. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgka-YfBPYJ9hcwj6SdlcCtvjRKHQc5Qu2IfihzojM2OsTchwSc4dnWEx64HHmR0O5DE1oRSGLo3dIhr4mNVpdw9GvEnjJRUlTWsSKJl8B-6Pqoh4q3cfNCYfRnNOgdQBD50F9z65TuPtXM/s720/lonnymaggrid3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgka-YfBPYJ9hcwj6SdlcCtvjRKHQc5Qu2IfihzojM2OsTchwSc4dnWEx64HHmR0O5DE1oRSGLo3dIhr4mNVpdw9GvEnjJRUlTWsSKJl8B-6Pqoh4q3cfNCYfRnNOgdQBD50F9z65TuPtXM/s720/lonnymaggrid3.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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joseph mul's farm has been in his family for five generations. the farm located in the south of france, 4 miles from grasse near the côte d'azur. this beautiful farm is where the may roses (rosa centifolia) that go into every bottle of chanel no. 5 are grown. each may, for approximately three weeks, the farm harvests approximately thirty-five to forty tons of may roses. each rose is processed within an hour and twenty minutes of being picked. isn't that incredible?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyRGhESRbxJ6SKO44OsQtt-iiPcdjIh_unZYwqKQQBHBAZMYXLBVaGFmtqLRoUskFc6HV0fs6B70Ou-a6T7mFw8qaFBQ8Z-zty5TSvVqsCwPNk6hT-mnyCKOqoYOCHNsqch9kTl5sOMTWJ/s720/lonnymaggrid2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyRGhESRbxJ6SKO44OsQtt-iiPcdjIh_unZYwqKQQBHBAZMYXLBVaGFmtqLRoUskFc6HV0fs6B70Ou-a6T7mFw8qaFBQ8Z-zty5TSvVqsCwPNk6hT-mnyCKOqoYOCHNsqch9kTl5sOMTWJ/s720/lonnymaggrid2.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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each bottle of perfum has twelve may roses and one thousand jasmine flowers. legend has it the the perfume's name comes from the fifth of six batches originally created for chanel. five was also her favorite number. if you head over to <a href="http://www.lonny.com/Fall+Fashion+2014/articles/w6w-PUpzehA/The+Making+of+Chanel+No+5">the original article on lonny</a> there's a beautiful video about the making of the perfume. according to the article a bottle of chanel no. 5 sells every thirty seconds. </div>
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i'd love to visit this farm one day... and maybe leave with pockets full of roses.</div>
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original article for lonny magazine by <a href="http://www.lonny.com/team/ireneedwards">irene edwards</a></div>
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photography by <a href="http://www.lonny.com/team/GenevieveGarruppo">genevieve garruppo</a></div>
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vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-27413194351687353482014-09-27T13:23:00.001-07:002014-09-28T16:01:19.019-07:00a girl's gotta eat / thai quinoa bowl<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn2J335XEOAGdh6l7-GAEbUgOGdYtm8L4DztAImzXniU7r11JqdSuVEWKU8FByJfM_gTRfzy2N6bUu8G0ktxTnm1wBKNQofifCyxqM3BWgUQTnDWjs_FKEjyaMdwLmV3UWGH8q4oRthEKw/s560/blogger-image-1587452160.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn2J335XEOAGdh6l7-GAEbUgOGdYtm8L4DztAImzXniU7r11JqdSuVEWKU8FByJfM_gTRfzy2N6bUu8G0ktxTnm1wBKNQofifCyxqM3BWgUQTnDWjs_FKEjyaMdwLmV3UWGH8q4oRthEKw/s560/blogger-image-1587452160.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">if i had to choose one recipe to make for the </span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">rest of my life</i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> it would be this recipe from <a href="http://www.howsweeteats.com/2013/02/thai-chicken-quinoa-bowl/">how sweet eats</a>. it's that good. </span><br />
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i came across it on <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/joiebutter">pinterest</a> (where else?) and it had so many of my favorite ingredients: cilantro, lime, coconut milk, and ginger. and quinoa since i'm always looking for quinoa recipes that have a lot of flavor. also, i leave out the chicken because i'm trying (emphasis on trying) to eleminate aminal products from my diet. but also buying and cooking meat stresses me out. so instead i just double the veggies and add extra peanuts. it's delicious. </div>
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also i learned an amazing secret for light, fluffy, non-mushy quinoa: when you add water to your pot of quinoa add <i>boiling water</i>. it makes all the difference - no more quinoa mush. you'll see.</div>
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now i'm hungry.</div>
vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-44434799250864376892014-09-25T07:30:00.000-07:002014-09-25T07:47:12.676-07:00my personal theme<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M5421Q36Qmc/VCJAbdiWxXI/AAAAAAAAAiI/7E2HWtJ7LiM/560/shecouldnevergoback.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizCgXGtN546VkMQj_-bJboLe4BtQYVEWkxxu2_lLUKkAW09oF4PHNBrpJeoMOWpeq9UCbTHUZ9ndEk7JpAsNbVBOlWcJbGSlLt9gjo8s-Rkb9hVWTWThi739Dpgs4iZQDJ7ODmYopQiPBY/s560/shecouldnevergoback.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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<br />
i was just reading <a href="http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20theme">stephanie's posts on their family themes</a> and this quote came to mind.<br />
<br />
there's no going back. no matter how hard i pray and cry and wish.<br />
<br />
all that's left is to move forward.<br />
<br />
and i'm trying. sometimes it's fearfully, ungratefully, haltingly, stubbornly, slowly, and painfully but "even those who limp go not backwards." (gibran)<br />
<br />
getting a little off topic, but not really... have you read the great divorce by cs lewis? it's one of my favorite books. in the book the inhabitants of hell get to visit heaven and, if they choose, can stay there. there's nothing in the world stopping them. but most of them don't. they choose to go back to hell. the ghosts talk of their lives and sorrows and injustices and at one point in the book the author is told "heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory."<br />
<br />
i think that's true. it's a tall order but i truly believe it's possible. whatever the details, the whole can still be beautiful.<br />
<br />
do you have family or personal mottos?<br />
<br />
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i don't know the source</div>
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for this image... help?</div>
<br />vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-86707496123489023562014-09-24T07:30:00.000-07:002014-09-24T07:30:03.378-07:00take care<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIPt3xKToVOXO26RFOuMsjBLuAVGAtGIu-XUKY1GC2pEErEHXIgyOCVT1EbLSXUx3W9p75jSg-CFu0IV_3MDaHFYUJQ_3xjsFTsOHQKbLTodmatR0NUTkB8OxtT0P7h0Ny6pQLNBoVUpe/s1600/Olga+Bennett.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIPt3xKToVOXO26RFOuMsjBLuAVGAtGIu-XUKY1GC2pEErEHXIgyOCVT1EbLSXUx3W9p75jSg-CFu0IV_3MDaHFYUJQ_3xjsFTsOHQKbLTodmatR0NUTkB8OxtT0P7h0Ny6pQLNBoVUpe/s660/Olga+Bennett.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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<br />
<b>self care.</b><br />
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<br />
i don't know why in my mind self care has a negative connotation. maybe because i associate it with other self words like self pity, self-centered and selfish.<br />
<br />
when i went into the rape crisis center the woman there cheerfully chirped, "take care of yourself. have a bubble bath... get a pedicure!" and i wanted to hit her. hard. in the face. with a chair. (to be fair i'm sure she said more than that but i don't remember.) i was scared and angry and my brain latched on to what seemed the most ludicrous statement and i vowed to never get a pedicure or take a bubble bath again. after the miscarriage i was told basically the same thing. "just relax. try taking a bubble bath." by that point my head was in such an awful, messed up place that the last thing i wanted was anything to do with myself. i wanted away from my self, out of my body, far away from this life.<br />
<br />
the other day when i was at a very low point i shared some of the feelings i had about myself... and they weren't the great. it was pointed out that if i said the things i say to myself to another person i'd be a bully and a kind of a jerk. ugh.<br />
<br />
i feel like i see and hear the term self care all over the place lately. i'm working on finding the balance between self pity and self care.<br />
<br />
<i><b>"Self care refers to actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health and promote human development."</b></i><br />
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i guess what i'm finally realizing is that i am still here. that life is stubborn. it goes on. it's going to go on. it goes on whether i'm curled up on my bed hiding out or trying to put the pieces of my life back together and keeping enjoying life. if it's going on go on it may as well be enjoyable. it's worth trying, right?<br />
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<b>things to start:</b><br />
<br />
buy myself fresh flowers<br />
prepare little meals, even if it's just for me<br />
wear a bright lipstick<br />
keep my desk tidy so it's a place i want to be<br />
download some new music turn it up<br />
be diligent with my personal prayer and scripture study<br />
spend time with friends<br />
use exercise to work out some of the nervous tension<br />
get my eyebrows done every once and awhile<br />
stop using the word fine - good or bad, be authentic<br />
start a photo challenge: nature/self portrait/ whatever<br />
go to the <a href="https://www.lds.org/church/temples?lang=eng">temple</a><br />
take deep breaths<br />
<br />
<b>things to change:</b><br />
<br />
take my prescriptions without calling myself weak<br />
cry when i need to without calling myself a baby<br />
say no when i'm overwhelmed without calling myself selfish<br />
reach out when i need to without calling myself pathetic<br />
search for a new job without calling myself a loser<br />
spend time with people i love without questioning my worth<br />
forgive myself when i slip without beating myself up<br />
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<b><i>"Therefore, though ours is a time of conflict, quietly caring for the 'life of the soul' is still what matters most." </i>- <i>Neal A Maxwell</i></b></div>
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what are some ways you care for yourself? how do you fight back against your own inner bully?</div>
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beautiful image by olga bennett</div>
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vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-20556898458453407522014-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:002014-09-23T08:00:06.110-07:00anthro playlist<center>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8XDbxfXXMrueacPEGJeHPugMWxqw5kg1PegimcFe-OrrBeFsdV-aoxSznNUummBB-HZr503Xm0KpomPMdICelDShg7g_xgqwKwDyBNet4NSpIbwTrF7Rq-eEdbTnZp4vPNaJ6M-3CnD4/s1600/waitingformail.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8XDbxfXXMrueacPEGJeHPugMWxqw5kg1PegimcFe-OrrBeFsdV-aoxSznNUummBB-HZr503Xm0KpomPMdICelDShg7g_xgqwKwDyBNet4NSpIbwTrF7Rq-eEdbTnZp4vPNaJ6M-3CnD4/s560/waitingformail.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5522191120191938802" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: px;" /></a><div style="text-align: left;">
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a little playlist from the archives. my old blog is lost somewhere in cyberspace. maybe that's okay. but since sometimes tuesdays are just as blech as mondays here's one of my favorite playlists.<br />
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it's a summery playlist. i'm hanging onto summer as long as possible.<br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/u4afdhi8uu">you know</a> - jj</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/oyqfk2b8dt">kingdom of the animals</a> - iron & wine</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/qoir36spzc">miracle</a> - baaba maal</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/m74nfoymic">folding chair</a> - regina spektor</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/ymunu6mp3f">pullo årdo</a> - youssou n'dour</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/63ydi4ixx4">Curious</a> - the innocence mission</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/qvxyyedhg1">i can see it in your eyes</a> - the like</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/u8i4ob2ims">kathy's song</a> - simon & garfunkel</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/7duxinyqci">cellulose sunshine</a> - stereolab</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/arong16z07">fire</a> - sonya kitchell</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/add5jn6poy">energy</a> - the apples in stereo</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/yf8riiq0q4">heart and home</a> - the go-betweens</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/vki5xkrfzl">your big hands</a> - jolie holland</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/rjaheg5fxe">alphabet soup</a> - laika</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/xm907oesm7">she loves the sunset</a> - old 97's</div>
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/n0n1pyhsqg">underneath the mango tree</a> - cibelle</div>
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i purchased all of the songs i share so if you like the artist i encourage you to do the same. happy tuesday!</div>
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vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-83057854712022516972014-09-22T16:29:00.000-07:002014-09-22T16:29:35.594-07:00run away with me / viana do castelo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuv-8b6UaukEpVfKCyt28Yhr_5U61ABtvPe9T-geOdk8OR_9G6Zxe5mIMfOMMzWUB_f7EX4UKwBxyWL0rw1jBxIZzIzdfZZvThAu7pEuMhVlfdE07P2J5Ay3xiO3c8zxflAOyyo93HJhm/s560/vianadocastelo_hellotwiggs11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuv-8b6UaukEpVfKCyt28Yhr_5U61ABtvPe9T-geOdk8OR_9G6Zxe5mIMfOMMzWUB_f7EX4UKwBxyWL0rw1jBxIZzIzdfZZvThAu7pEuMhVlfdE07P2J5Ay3xiO3c8zxflAOyyo93HJhm/s560/vianadocastelo_hellotwiggs11.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFeOMAN4ZKfNtj6-TDhVKNFdzRxmOfeT30zJBw_76ufBnh_MhBYZDUw1B3yo4b7r1FsNx66Ju-fQY-voJhXUH__0FHf3lGmF7JjABOn4YSbEUfPwqqpnGIfnzfA_rnz1eA3EWzd0V9Wce_/s560/vianodocastelo_hellotwiggs_c1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFeOMAN4ZKfNtj6-TDhVKNFdzRxmOfeT30zJBw_76ufBnh_MhBYZDUw1B3yo4b7r1FsNx66Ju-fQY-voJhXUH__0FHf3lGmF7JjABOn4YSbEUfPwqqpnGIfnzfA_rnz1eA3EWzd0V9Wce_/s560/vianodocastelo_hellotwiggs_c1.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQk1J_TzbNPb9MwaukLm4_Zo3noznuje2quaT181rYO0sVxDbeCuNdVXIWgTtaXI2IiqOmzHEVjGJB6KlLB28mBvsHgEvowZBKugqbG4UkJLb1iKz6xJL86gyJWT-j45lHExi6RIeydWt7/s560/vianadocastelo_hellotwiggs_c4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQk1J_TzbNPb9MwaukLm4_Zo3noznuje2quaT181rYO0sVxDbeCuNdVXIWgTtaXI2IiqOmzHEVjGJB6KlLB28mBvsHgEvowZBKugqbG4UkJLb1iKz6xJL86gyJWT-j45lHExi6RIeydWt7/s560/vianadocastelo_hellotwiggs_c4.jpg" /></a></div>
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when i came across these photos of viana do castelo, a city in the northern part of portugal, my heart skipped a beat. everything about it seemed to ooze charm.<br />
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this city reminds me a little bit of santa barbara with the mountains on one side and the sea on the other. after researching a bit more viana do castelo is definitely on my travel list. i'll be dreaming of portugal when it starts snowing here.<br />
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what cities or countries are you dying to visit?<br />
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you can see more of this beautiful city over on <a href="http://www.aplacefortwiggs.com/2014/07/country-stories-viana-castelo/">a place for twiggs</a>. all photos belong to <a href="http://www.aplacefortwiggs.com/">claudia casal</a>.vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-6145623501479677792014-09-22T08:30:00.000-07:002014-09-22T15:26:08.598-07:00how to eat toast<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZHnvw7eWeX5LwrgWnFK6yVyknHibKarLzd7vsQCflhZSANoe6U7sx4IfMi0R1p0jyz4YryaR9gahl445Ihr2sCk_pdPvq2z76ptq9l2EHWF5mqLlVQmHMeY71IMI2QzkFAS3A2IwZhSzz/s1600/food52blog_toast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZHnvw7eWeX5LwrgWnFK6yVyknHibKarLzd7vsQCflhZSANoe6U7sx4IfMi0R1p0jyz4YryaR9gahl445Ihr2sCk_pdPvq2z76ptq9l2EHWF5mqLlVQmHMeY71IMI2QzkFAS3A2IwZhSzz/s1600/food52blog_toast.jpg" /></a></div>
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being single (and let's be honest, a little lazy) i'm always looking for easy, tasty recipes. when i came across <a href="http://food52.com/blog/11169-how-to-eat-toast-for-dinner">how to eat toast for dinner</a> i couldn't resist. the first year i lived in wales and later london i didn't know how to cook a thing and was too nervous to try what i affectionately called the "fish head stew" that my host family loved. so for almost an entire year i rotated butter, beans, cheese, jam, and marmite on toast. </div>
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while these toasty meals are much more appealing cheese toast will always be a favorite. </div>
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image from <a href="http://food52.com/blog/11169-how-to-eat-toast-for-dinner">food52.com</a></div>
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vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-87975775837528036392014-09-19T23:29:00.000-07:002014-09-20T19:14:20.435-07:00an ordinary weekend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZnMkzb_Eg6kLVAHYd49IlDfgsX_vz123fAodJKr9fzNayfbY_xD6kiFReld-tf7RYc9Vs4BcuzaY4irZ4ozkRvbJjJLz7N94Jsp0dq1l5Q_TJ6tzJ_TyhmD1PRzfU1cCBcWmBsr8XhR_m/s1600/annabellp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZnMkzb_Eg6kLVAHYd49IlDfgsX_vz123fAodJKr9fzNayfbY_xD6kiFReld-tf7RYc9Vs4BcuzaY4irZ4ozkRvbJjJLz7N94Jsp0dq1l5Q_TJ6tzJ_TyhmD1PRzfU1cCBcWmBsr8XhR_m/s480/annabellp.jpg" height="" width="" /></a></div>
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this weekend i'm going to be doing very ordinary things:</div>
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getting that stack of prints off the floor and on the wall<br />
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unearthing my neglected camera</div>
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finalizing my fall capsule wardrobe<br />
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sorting through piles of old magazines<br />
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painting my nails</div>
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pulling some weeds</div>
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rearranging my bookshelves</div>
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squeezing in a nap<br />
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cleaning out my fridge<br />
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totally thrilling. i'm actually looking forward to this list. my approach will be very "zen and the art of..." post boring blog post ever? maybe!<br />
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what about you?<br />
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photo by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/aleekid8/3507967825/sizes/o/in/faves-joie_butter/">annabellp</a> on <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/aleekid8/3507967825/sizes/o/in/faves-joie_butter/">flickr</a></div>
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vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-37423104974051163862014-09-16T22:28:00.000-07:002014-09-17T09:22:01.681-07:00let's talk about capsule wardrobes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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have you heard of this? after <a href="http://www.heynataliejean.com/2014/09/my-pre-fall-capsule-collection.html">natalie posted hers</a> i became kind of obsessed with the idea. i think it's a good thing for two reasons:<br />
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1. it has totally kept me busy in between searching for a job and avoiding the yucky parts of life right now.<br />
2. i am pretty sure hoarding tendencies run in my family.<br />
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i've always been drawn to the idea of minimalism. when i read about how people live minimally i think they must be really self actualized or have incredible self control - two qualities i very much admire. that being said i love to shop. like, it really makes me happy. sometimes even if i know i'll probably never (or rarely) wear something i'm so drawn to a color or pattern that i end up buying it. and <b>that</b>, my friends, is how you end up on an episode of hoarders.<br />
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minimalist wardrobes aren't a new thing. <a href="http://ourcitylights.org/ourcitylights-1/2011/11/talking-closet-downsizing">diana</a> posted this years ago and i saved it because i was just so fascinated with the idea of having a tiny wardrobe. and even longer ago <a href="http://www.designformankind.com/2010/11/303030-let-the-games-begin/">erin</a> did a thirty items for thirty days challenge. so with these lovely ladies as inspiration i decided to take the plunge.<br />
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first things first i downloaded caroline's <a href="http://www.designformankind.com/2010/11/303030-let-the-games-begin/">capsule wardrobe planner</a> and spent days browsing my <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/joiebutter">pinterest</a> boards to figure out what my style is. i still don't really know... but as i <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/joiebutter">pinned</a> away the words that came to mind were preppy, boho, pink.<br />
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my goals:<br />
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<b>comfort:</b> i want my clothes to fit well and be comfortable. this seems like the biggest "duh" statement but i either buy things a little too big because i don't want them to be tight or am feeling self conscious and then end up feeling sloppy <i>and</i> self conscious <b>or</b> i hang try to make things work that aren't quite the right size or style and end up feeling uncomfortable and self conscious. <br />
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<b>feminine: </b>i like a little pink or a ruffle detail here and there. i enjoy wearing skirts and dresses, and with tights. i like a some sparkle. <a href="http://www.shopbando.com/">ban.do</a> always saves the day here.<br />
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<b>modest:</b> i kind of dread using that word. if anyone says "modest is the hottest" i'll poke them in the eye. i feel most comfortable covered up. i don't care if it's hot or not.<br />
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<b>structured: </b>i really love the peasant, flowy look but it just doesn't work for me. i promise i would wear peasant tops and chiffon skirts all day long if i could. but one thing i've learned about my style is that a little structure helps me feel more put together and more confident.<br />
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second, to be completely honest the amount of money i plan on spending for this fall capsule is zero dollars. some people budget a certain amount for each season and that's completely awesome. but given my no job/potential hoarding situation i'm going to work with what i have. and i have plenty. so far i've taken two very large garbage bags to goodwill and di and it's made feel kind of wasteful. why buy something if i'm just going to get rid of it in a few months? even if it is only $20? and there are several storage tubs going into the garage for future seasons or to <a href="https://poshmark.com/closet/vanessapia">sell</a>. maybe for the winter i'll budget for a pair of boots.</div>
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i lied. i do want a pair <a href="http://www.shopbop.com/tennis-laced-sneaker-bensimon/vp/v=1/1528107996.htm?folderID=2534374302144691&fm=other-shopbysize&colorId=29105">of these</a>.</div>
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my have-it-all-together date is september 21st. totally doable. i think. it's actually turned out to be a lot more effort than i anticipated. i feel like the end result will be a good thing but right now there are piles and boxes of clothes and empty hangers everywhere. my poor harlow is under the bed... which is probably a good idea.<br />
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have you ever done a capsule wardrobe? or a mini wardrobe? are you going to?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">top image from ny mag featuring chloé pieces, hunting down sources for the other images </span><br />
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<br />vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-37128390355750589672014-09-07T18:13:00.000-07:002014-09-07T18:13:24.744-07:00feels like fall<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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i love fall. i hate to hurry summer along because winter comes all too soon (and stays too long for my california blood) but i do love it.<br />
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some of my favorite things about fall:<br />
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i can layer on cardigans to my heart's content<br />
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the world takes on so many beautiful colors<br />
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pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (the only pumpkin thing i like - don't hate)<br />
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watching harlow tromp around happily in the crunchy leaves<br />
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campfires... it's been far too long<br />
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i guess i'm getting ahead of myself but the weather has been decidedly fall-ish and i'm going to enjoy it.
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what are your favorite things about fall?
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photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/sacredlotus/2978889004/lightbox/">sacredlotus // nicole</a></div>
vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-63534647899191017122014-05-21T19:21:00.000-07:002014-05-21T19:21:24.689-07:00home sweet california<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLnPNo2-ElAcqzOEX-1Qs53kyMT-RPsPplzSrpcGcv0twXToK5SJ2rpJg-YdH37CvSirax6BTlxAFd7GEtN4QYTf9KWl38-1wx26rPxTqawdxRy0M24VYVb7yDZVBy2qKyRlVh_6TKJGJl/s1600/ballard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLnPNo2-ElAcqzOEX-1Qs53kyMT-RPsPplzSrpcGcv0twXToK5SJ2rpJg-YdH37CvSirax6BTlxAFd7GEtN4QYTf9KWl38-1wx26rPxTqawdxRy0M24VYVb7yDZVBy2qKyRlVh_6TKJGJl/s1600/ballard.jpg" height="400" width="280" /></a></div>
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i never feel homesick for california until i get here and then i remember why i love it.<br />
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i just want to sniff the eucalyptus trees, eat tri tip sandwiches, drive around with sand between my toes and enjoy the warm sunshine and cool breezes. <br />
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it's all so familiar and quiet. pleasantly quiet. vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-22305568105356877662014-05-14T19:06:00.002-07:002014-05-14T22:46:20.263-07:00my comfort zone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”</h1>
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C.S. Lewis</div>
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this quote struck a chord with me when i read it last night because it feels like exactly what i've been doing... locking my heart up safe, avoiding all entanglements... going to work, coming home, keeping to myself. and sure some days it's all i want to do. some days it's all i can do and harlow will never judge me... but it isn't really how i want to spend my life. </div>
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everyone talks about leaving their comfort zone. yuck. my comfort zone is pretty small: a few friends, the temple, my house with harlow.... that's pretty much it. okay, so it's really, really small. when i think about leaving my comfort zone i immediately think of forcing myself to do all the things i know i'd hate or doing things that i know would make me feel unsafe and i think "no thanks, i'll stay right where i am." </div>
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maybe i should add that the old me never really thought much about a comfort zone. almost immediately after high school i moved to the uk by myself. i didn't know one single soul on that side of the pond but it never made me consider passing up the opportunity. this me can barely go to church unless i know i'll have someone to sit with. the old me would sing, and act and paint without too much self consciousness. now i get nervous if people look at me or single me out because i feel like they must be able to guess my horrible secret. </div>
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i really liked <a href="http://elitedaily.com/life/just-leaving-comfort-zone-popping-bubble/592531/">this article</a> on leaving your comfort zone. </div>
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"To experience life isn't always to face your fears and risk unpleasantries. It's also about doing all those things you're sure you'll enjoy."</div>
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that sounds more doable. </div>
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i mean i know i'd enjoy going to the <a href="http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/">temple</a> more so i just need to do it and stop worrying about my own self doubts. i know i'd enjoy making more friendships so maybe i'll stop avoiding everyone's eye contact and make an effort. i know i'd like to start doing more photography again so maybe i'll stop labeling that as something i did "before" and go buy some film. </div>
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i know these sound so basic that it's laughable but... it is what it is and i'm going to start somewhere.</div>
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there are two things i know i need to work on: </div>
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1. strengthening my faith. i feel like i've been holding steady but not growing and i know i need to make more of an effort. heaven knows i've certainly got the time. </div>
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2. asking for help when i need it. there have been so many times, especially in the past few weeks, where i desperately wanted to call a friend and admit that something was wrong, or to crash on their couch because i was so anxious or to ask for a <a href="https://www.lds.org/youth/article/importance-of-priesthood-blessings?lang=eng">priesthood blessing</a>... but i didn't. and it just added to my anxiety/depression/frustration.</div>
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i've also made other goals of a more cross-off-the-list variety and maybe not as grand: finish my book for book club, call my mom, buy more pepper spray, order a ballet beautiful dvd, etc.</div>
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and now a question: how to <i>you</i> set goals? monthly? weekly? yearly? any tips for keeping focused and accomplishing them? do you participate in the 101 in 1,001 challenge? let me know. </div>
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photo by <a href="http://odessamaysociety.com/">jennie prince</a></div>
vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-76215473937098266562014-04-30T15:10:00.000-07:002014-04-30T15:10:17.670-07:00raw beautymy friend <a href="http://blog.piajanebijkerk.com/WordPress/2014/04/30/a-raw-conversation/">pia</a> posted on instagram that she would be posting a an untouched/un-photoshopped/un-cropped filtered photo of herself as part of the <a href="http://www.rawbeautytalks.com/about-2/">raw beauty talks</a> movement. and my first thought was "of course she can do that, she's gorgeous."<br />
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but then this morning i read her post and read that she believes she's ugly. what? i've read pia's blog for years, followed her on instagram, and purchased her books. believe me when i tell you there is nothing ugly about her. everything is does is lovely and full of magic and tenderness.<br />
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anyway late last night as i was getting ready for bed i decided to snap one photo of myself and vowed that no matter what it looked like i'd post it on my blog.<br />
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i rarely post photos of myself and when i do i crop and filter like nobody's buisness... and they still look, well, you've seen them. the anticipation of posting a "raw" photo made me feel a little scared and extremely vulnerable. when i look at my own face i see all of the flaws and imperfections that i think most woman see in themselves. but if i spend too long in front of the mirror i start looking for answers to questions that haunt me. what was it about my face that said "weak" or "easy target" or "loser" or "worthless" or whatever it was that made those men choose me. the whole "selfie" thing has made try to look past my own inner terrorist and try to see something worthwhile. so when i do post a photo of myself, even if it's filtered to death, it's because for a second i saw something of my old self. or maybe a new self that i liked. that probably sounds vain and however you feel about selfies, mine are just for me.<br />
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so here's the photo. no make up, no contacts, hair a mess, a lovely new spot on my cheek:<br />
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<br />vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-71128721939116506382014-04-26T23:37:00.000-07:002014-04-26T23:37:03.265-07:00the last piece of my heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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so this is the last thing. the last confession or unburdening or whatever. it's been eating away at me and i don't know how blogging about it will help but maybe it will dislodge this brick that's been sitting on my heart squashing it into my stomach.<div>
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after i was assaulted i found out i was pregnant. i had waited too long for my doctor to give me the morning after pill but after awhile a good friend encouraged me to take a pregnancy test so that at least i could stop worrying about it. when i finally did i sat on the floor of my bedroom on the phone with a friend staring at the faintest pink line. if you're thinking: it could have been prevented, you should have been thinking clearly, i should have gone to the hospital right away... i could have, i should have. i KNOW. </div>
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i know.</div>
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but then i had a miscarriage. people have kindly or naively or maybe hopefully said it should have been a relief... right? of all the things i felt through the pregnancy and after i don't think relief even made the list. there was panic and dread and fear and loneliness and guilt and more fear and more guilt. but i also felt robbed... again. i've spend a good portion of my life looking forward to having a family one day and all that went with it... the anticipation, the nerves, the excitement, the moment of finding out... it was always a happy picture in my mind. i know things don't always go as planned but and now more "first" experiences had been taken away by an act of evil and cruelty.</div>
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i also felt more alone than i ever thought was possible. i mean, after high school when i moved to the uk by myself and it dawned on me that i didn't know a single person in the country i was living in... that was lonely. but this was infinitely different. first, i hadn't told hardly anyone what had happened so how could i tell them this? and what if they didn't believe me? and what if they told me to get rid of the baby? or what if they told me to keep it? basically the inside of my head was a roller coaster ride that i did not want to be on. </div>
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i never did find out the gender of the baby but in my heart and when i pray it's always a girl. </div>
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some super honest thoughts: i thought about terminating the pregnancy, i thought about ending my own life, i thought about putting this perfectly innocent life up for adoption and i thought about keeping it. each possible decision broke my heart in different ways. it's hard to even explain my train of thought because it was too overwhelming. but there were these tiny moments when i felt... i don't know... not strength but maybe defiance. and in those small moments i <i>wanted</i> to love and protect this life growing inside of me. however her life started she was just as much mine as any other baby i'd ever have would be and i was just as much her mom. </div>
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but then she was gone and i was heartbroken all over again. there were more questions: did i have the right to be heartbroken over something i was so unsure about? and if i was sad about the loss didn't that mean that i somehow wanted the baby? and if i wanted the baby didn't that mean that somehow the assault was ok? (of course i know that the answer to these last one is of course not but honestly my head was such a mess and these were the questions bouncing around.) and more doubts: maybe i'm not meant to be a mom, maybe the baby was taken back because i didn't love it enough, maybe i did something wrong, maybe the universe was playing some sort of cruel joke. </div>
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and then there was more loneliness. how could i explain what was going on to anyone now? i had dug myself this deep, lonely hole and now all i could do was sit in it. sometimes i still sit in it. i'm probably sitting in it right now. how i feel about what happened hasn't changed much. there's still shame, guilt, fear, anger, sadness, loss and so many unanswered questions. i guess the questions are now a moot point because it's over. those decisions don't need to be made now... but my heart hasn't quite caught up.</div>
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plenty of time has passed and i keep thinking one day i'll wake up and be over it... all of it. but that day hasn't come. it sneaks up on me even on the best days and i don't know what to do. i had every intention of being super productive today but it was pouring rain and my scary neighbor is getting scarier and i spent all last night worry about him... so i've spent most of today wandering around my house listening vaguely cleaning, and listening to "hallelujah" (jeff buckley), "here comes a regular" the replacements, "i shall believe" sheryl crow, "broken down palace" grateful dead, "calender girl" stars and "leaving town alive" bethany joy lenz... not the cheeriest playlist but these old familiar songs are comforting.</div>
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i want to move on. i don't want to be known as "the girl who was raped." ugh... that word. my birthday is around the corner and i want to start that year off with clear eyes and an open heart. i'm attempting to start the <a href="http://dayzeroproject.com/">101 in 1001 project</a> (again) because maybe a long list of goals will keep me from turning into a complete hermit and give me some things to look forward to. that would be nice. </div>
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and now, well... i don't really know how to end this post i've started. </div>
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i guess i can end with thanks. if you've stuck with me this far then that means a lot. it's strange writing about such private and painful experiences and your kind words don't go unnoticed. </div>
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the image above is from <a href="http://paperboatpress.com/">paper boat press</a> through their <a href="http://www.instagram.com/paperboatpress">instagram</a> feed.</div>
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vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4770569124710210621.post-61119773212793241282014-03-26T20:17:00.000-07:002014-03-26T20:18:06.100-07:00life lately<iframe src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/joie_butter/4577230272/player/728aee4041" height="500" width="486" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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<i>"foggy whirlwinds may be your intimate companions. being up-in-the-air could be your customary vantage point. during your stay in this weird vacationland, please abstain from making conclusions about its implications for your value as a human being. remember these words from author terry braverman: "it is important to detach our sense of self-worth from transitional circumstances, and maintain perspective on who we are..." </i><br />
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for the last several months things have been fine. really, actually fine. not great, not awful but fine. and fine has been good enough. the last few weeks, however, have felt like one step forward, 300 steps back.<br />
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but i've faithfully stuck to my motto of "i'm fine" because it seems like the polite thing to do. i mean, honestly shouldn't there be a moratorium on how long you're allowed to feel bad about something? shouldn't i spare my friends the same old sadness? but saying "i'm fine" while there's a dinosaur dying a slow death in the pit of your stomach, or when all you want to do is lie down on the sidewalk and just stay there, or when you have to walk two blocks in the dark and immediately burst into frightened tears is no fun.<br />
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my solution for the last few weeks has been to hide out. keeping myself inside and busy with ridiculous things like ironing my bedding, spending way too much time on pinterest, vacuuming 4 times a day (no, really) and rearranging my bookshelves obsessively isn't really a great solution either. and i hate ironing.<br />
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my point: depression sucks. it's frustrating and boring and lonely and scary. hopefully it's just part of my weird "vacationland".<br />
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good natured friends have pointed out that i have a valid reason to be depressed and okay, yes, maybe that's true... but i don't <i>want</i> to be depressed. i don't want to spend the rest of my life ironing. and more than anything i don't want that reason.<br />
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the other day i met a friend at the park and she very pointedly but kindly asked how i'd been and as i opened my mouth to recite "fine" i couldn't do it. i took a breath and with a lot of embarrassment said, "i've been sad." to me it sounded so lame, pathetic and weak ... or like something a 5 year old would say. but i said it and then i waited for the dreaded pep talk. while there was a little pep talk what i got was kindness, listening, understanding and concern. one of the things she said was "weakness is not a sin"... as in being sad doesn't mean i'm faithless. depression is not a sin. anxiety is not a sin.<br />
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and so that's how i've been. sad. but saying it eases some of that sadness so there's hope.<br />
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polaroid by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/joie_butter/4577230272/in/set-72157613989941937">me</a>.vanessa joiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554516155248137032noreply@blogger.com1